January 2005 Tournament Results:


Gentlemen,

It’s only the first tournament of the year and I still can’t get the results out on time! Geeze!

Oh, wait … I remember why I was trying to forget this tournament … I had to play in the same foursome (same cart, no less!) with David Freedman.

Now I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure (?) of playing with David, but talk about B.S.! I thought I was full of it. Turns out David is a walking crock full! (Example: We were on the 10th tee and David says, “A friend of mine put three balls in the water on this hole the other day and still made par”.

Bewildered, we told him that was impossible. He went on to explain, “O.K., so he hits his tee shot over the water and it rolls back into the pond.” “That’s one.” He continued, “As he reaches down into the hazard to retrieve his ball he falls in.” “That’s three”. “He then goes on to par the hole”.

(See what I mean?)

Anyway, on to the results.

First and foremost, I’m proud to announce that Marvin Marcus didn’t win anything this month. The KBMGA has been subsidizing a second home in Bermuda for Marvin lately and we’re glad to see his name nowhere on the winner’s list.

As a matter of fact, all the winners this month were first time winners in the association (except for one. Can you find him?)

The format was individual medal play and the winners are:

1st place low gross: Neil Christiansen with a score of 75. (Has Neil won anything lately?)

1st place low net: Tom Horst with a 70. The doctor then stayed on with the hard core members to celebrate his victory. We had fun, Tom. Thanks.

2nd place low net: Luis Fernandez, who also had a net score of 70 but lost out on a matching of the scorecards with Tom.

3rd place low net: Always the complainer, never the champion, George Thibault, who carded a net 72 (and that’s with a couple of 7’s littering his scorecard). George stayed on with the hard core for a while and then had to leave to go “back to his people”.

Closest-to-the-pin honors this month went to:

Hole # 6: George “Boom Boom” Gandarias, who for some reason was unable to finish his round that day so couldn’t stay on with the H.C. to celebrate.

Hole # 12: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, George Thibault. I won’t say whether or not he made the putt, but we will concede that was not one of the holes he took a seven on. (Close, though).

Long Drive Hole #14: Richard Deilke. Now you’d think that someone who could belt it out there and still keep it in the fairway would go on to birdie the hole, right? Again, I won’t tell you his score on that hole, but I will tell you that he did miss par by one stroke.

And finally, our newly created, yet highly coveted, “I May Be Wacked-Out, But I’m Still a Lawyer” award goes to the aforementioned, David Freedman, who, in a two page pictorial of our tournament in the March edition of the Key Biscayne Magazine, is the only one of the 19 pictures that is misidentified in the caption below the picture. Under his picture it reads, “Randolph Potter”. It wasn’t a misprint because Randy wasn’t even at the tournament.

(See what I mean?)

Bill Hayes
El Presidente of the asylum