September 2006 Tournament Results:

Gentlemen,

Once again, there are no pictures this month because our webmaster, Guillermo Wolf was busy with family, staff photographer, Bob Alt was on hillbilly duty in Tennessee and back-up photog, George Thibault was too busy talking to take any pics.

I played with George for the first time this month and I’ll be honest … the guy talks more than I do on a golf course. It’s true! Dude’s even talking during his own swing. Geeze!

It’s a shame that there were no pictures, because Ken Forsyth actually wore a white belt to the tournament. And, mind you, he neither lives on Miami Beach nor is he that old.

Our September tournament was the first opportunity to qualify for the 2006 club championship matches. It was played under the medal play format.

And the winners were:

First Place, Low Gross: Roger Huxman, who fired a sub-par round of 71. As this was the first month to qualify for the club championships, Roger walked up to the scorer’s table after his round, plunked his scorecard down (confident that his 71 would put him in the play-offs) and remarked, “Here, now just let me know when Hayes wants to f-up my first match. (Pretty funny, actually. The bad part was I deserved it!)

First Place, Low Net: Current 2005 A Flight champion, Mariano Torres-
Garcia, who netted a smooth 66 for the win.

Second Place, Low Net: Loveable Lee Smith, with a net 70. Lee always seems to be in the hunt when he shows up to play.

Third Place, Low Net: Our buddy, Paul Susz, who also had a net 70, but took third on a matching of the score cards.

Closest-to-the-pin honors this month went to:

Hole #6: New member Hollis Batchelor, who put in 5’6” from the hole but had to settle for par.

Hole #12: Good friend, Roberto Cavalcanti, who stuck it a mere 4’5” from the cup and drained the putt for the bird.

Long Drive on hole #14 went to young buck, Tim Satow.

And speaking of Tim … he has earned this month’s newly created, yet highly coveted, “Worst impersonation of Chris Rock” award.

We’re sitting around having a beer or three after the tournament when Tim comes up and starts doing his impersonation of the stand-up comic. Well you’ve never heard anything more hilarious in your life. Imagine, a kid from South Africa, who has what is essentially a British accent, trying to sound like Chris Rock!

I finally said to him that he can’t do the accent because he is not familiar with the black culture, then he reminded me … he’s from Africa.

And speaking of foreigners having a few drinks after the round, Tom Horst brought his tomata, who’s from Columbia, to the luncheon. My guess is that’s the last time he does something that stupid again for quite a while.

I think that’s it for now. October’s tournament is on the 21st so sign up now. It’ll be your last chance to qualify for the club championship matches.

See you on the course.

Sincerely,

Bill Hayes
El Presidente of the asylum