August 2007 Tournament Results:

Gentlemen,

Oh yeah, and Andy Waks won the longest drive prize for the July tournament. (Forgot to mention that in last month’s recap). Sorry, Andy.

And somebody needs to bring a camera to the tournaments because we need a new crop of pics each month.

Now that I got that off my chest we can get on with the rest of the foolishness.

We would like to welcome new member, Raul Irragori into the fold and thank our sponsors for their support of the association. And a special thank you to Christof Bochers for supplying the cigars for the tournament.

I spent two weeks in a cabin up in the mountains of Pennsylvania just prior to the tournament and decided to grow a beard while up there.

With my long hair and a beard I was afraid I would end up looking like Charles Manson, but it turned out to be much worse. My beard came in GREY! I looked like Alan Goldberg, for God’s sake!

Needless to say, it was not exactly the look I was hoping for.

This month’s tournament format was match play against par, and the winners were:

Low Gross: As you know, this year our tournament director, Phil Josephson has deemed that, in order to qualify for the low gross prize, you must play from the blue tees. Having said that, the winner was our tournament director, Phil Josephson. He carded an 80 which shows you it was a tough scoring day.

Along with the first place prize, P.J. also gets the prestigious, “Ray & Ray” award for shooting a 35 on the front (Ray Floyd) and a 45 on the back (Ray Charles).

First Place, Low Net: Rick Kwacz, who beat Old Man Par by 6 holes.

Second Place, Low Net: Roberto Cavalcanti, beating Old Man Par by 3 holes and came really close to being the subject of the long hair/grey beard comparison above. Except, he’s way better looking than Goldy. (I can say that because Alan is in Connecticut for the summer and by the time he gets back, he’ll have forgotten all about it.)

Third Place, Low Net: Hector Peraza, beating the old man by 2 holes. He is quickly on his way to a 10 handicap, if you know what I mean. (It’s good to be king!)

Closest-to-the-pin honors this month went to:

Hole #6: Randy “Bo” Potter, who is quickly on his way to a single digit handicap.

Hole #12: Hector Peraza, who, now that I think about it, may be joining Randy in the single digits. (Watch out, David. You’re next.)

Don’t know how close they were because we lost one of the red measuring tapes we used to use on the par three’s so let’s just say that they both tapped in for the birdie and went 4- and 5- under on the par three’s respectively.

Long Drive, Hole #14: New member Frank Fonseca. Looks like no one else hit the fairway, eh, Frank? (Editor’s note: Hey Prez, that was cold, man. Why you wanna cut a brutha like that?)

Do I have a new editor?

And now … the newly created, yet highly coveted, “Best Tomata, Ever!” award goes to Mike Black’s wife. We don’t know her name, but we love her.

As Mike explains it, he used to have a small refrigerator in which he kept his beer and the kid’s drinks, but it was getting a little worse for wear. So his wife, wondering what to get him for his upcoming birthday, decided on the perfect gift. No, not a refrigerator, a KEGERATOR!

That’s right! The guy’s got an ice cold keg of beer, ON TAP, whenever he might feel the need for a refreshing libation.

And now that you’ve been outed, Mike, you’ll have a lot more than a thirsty neighbor to worry about. I’ll send your address out to the membership.

That’s it for now.

Gotta meet my congressman. At the airport. In the men’s room.

Sincerely,

Bill Hayes
El Presidente who is really, really, thirsty