July 2008 Tournament Results:

Gentlemen,

This arrives a little late, but hey …

A warm thank you, once again, to our sponsors for their continued support of our association.

This month’s tournament was played utilizing a new format devised by our tournament director, Phil Josephson. I believe the official format title is called, “Individual Best 16 Holes, But If You Can’t Figure It Out, Then Just Keep Your Own Score And I’ll Figure It Out For You At Lunch, You (expletive deleted) Losers”, where you can throw out your net score on any two holes you want. For me, they were pretty much determined after the first two holes.

It turned out to be a great format because all three of the winners had a tying score of 58. But, after a suspenseful matching of the score cards, the winners were:

First Place: Eric Cabrera (58). Who will collect his prize from Tom Halley soon. (whatever it is).

Second Place: Jorge Dighero (58). Who received one bottle of wine and can expect an additional prize from Tom as well. (We’re so suspensefully organized.)

Third Place: Phil Josephson (58). Hey Phil, you were the one keeping score. How come you didn’t finish first? Oh, that’s right … something about being a gentlemen’s game. He went home with two bottles of wine … hey wait a minute! No wonder he ended up in third place. He walked away with more than the other two combined. (no suspense here.)

Closest-to-the-pin honors this month went to:

Hole #6: David Marshall who put it 11’2” but had to settle for par.

Hole #12: Randy “Bo”, “Bow”, “Beau” “Beaux” Potter who put it 7’0” from the hole but also had to settle.

Long Drive: Hole #14: We originally gave the prize to “Notre Dave” Marshall because we couldn’t find the card so we asked if anyone had remembered beating Dave’s drive, and no one responded. Then, later that week, Tuesday to be exact, I find the card still in the marker stick in the ranger’s shed and it had Bob “It’s all about the U” Schneckenberg’s (no relation to Howard “It all about the U” Schnellenberger) name after David’s. So, since we already gave the wine to Dave, who said he was putting it to good use that night, we owe Bob a bottle of our world renowned (seriously) Argentine red wine.

And although there was no Low Gross prize, Phil Josephson shot a 74 on the day, from the blue tees! I think he’s gunning for the club championship trophy this year but I already had Roger Huxman’s name engraved on it. (Force of habit.)

And as I’m sure you’re all wondering how I did in the tourney, let me just say that I played with a very interesting foursome. Mike Black, John Herman and Tom Horst and although there was the “nice shot” comment occasionally uttered, it was more like a, “Keep rolling!” “Get in the trap!” kind of day. (Playing for a few bucks does make the game/players? more interesting.)

I must say, I was out of my league as I watched Tom looking at 11 birdie putts in the first 14 holes. Mike and John are single-digit handicappers, as well, so thanks for letting me play along, boys. It was fun.

And not wanting to be outdone by Tom, this month’s newly created yet highly coveted, “Can I just go home now? Please?” Award goes to Ken Forsyth who had 12 birdie putts and one eagle attempt and, that’s right folks, missed them all!

And when he wasn’t whiffing on the greens he had a most adventurous 11th hole:
His drive lands in a divot.
His approach shot goes in the water.
He takes a drop and hits his fourth shot into a greenside bunker.
His next shot goes into another bunker.
He then proceeds to skull his next shot over the green into the water again.
He drops seven and …

You know what, I’m out of time.

Sincerely,

Bill Hayes
El Presidente who actually took money from those three single-digit pikers